


And We Burn Up To Die

by ThiefOfDreamsAndSouls



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bad coping mechanisms, Depression, Hurt Tony Stark, Ignorant Avengers, Slightly Callous Avengers, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Tony Angst, Tony Stark Angst, Two - Freeform, a character dies, but what's new, if we're being realistic, the feels shall crush thee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-07 01:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13423449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThiefOfDreamsAndSouls/pseuds/ThiefOfDreamsAndSouls
Summary: When Rhodey dies, Tony awakens.Awakens to the fact that a world without Rhodey is a not a world at all.He was going to go down, it was a matter of what he would do before it, and nobody could stop him.And in the end, when everything was done. he would happily burn.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HAHAHA. 
> 
> Pay attention to the tags, I beg of you.
> 
> My feels died, and I decided to share my pain. Enjoy that. 
> 
> If you read the tags, trigger warnings should go unsaid, but I'll do it anyways: Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Tony Stark has terrible coping mechanisms (but I can't really judge, AT ALL), Depression, etc., etc. 
> 
> Comment, Kudos, etc. 
> 
> I'm beginning to think I need a life.

Tony has always been scared of death by fire. 

 

He finds it ironic that his death would inevitably be by burning. 

 

He stared at the paper in front of him, eyes lifelessly drinking in the words, until they filled up his lungs with molten lava and he just couldn't  _breathe_ , and he fell, paper rolling to the side, discarded and useless. 

His mind uselessly replayed the words on the letter, spiraling uselessly, the words simply mixing and morphing into an ocean, an ocean sweeping in and overcoming his mind. He didn't know how long he lay there, how long he stayed there, his mind both burning and drowning, with the letter there in his mind. 

 

 

_Dear Doctor Stark,_

_It is with real sorrow that I write this letter, for it is to bring to you very bad news pertaining to the death of Lt. Colonel James Rhodes._

 

 

And Tony drowned inside, all over again. 

But at least Tony could say he knew what to do. 

Eyes scouring his table, he found what he was looking for. It was a syringe - the liquid inside burning and throbbing a fiery red. It's one purpose: to place an emotional block in one's mind: each dose effective three hours. Enough time to do what he needed to do. Without a second of hesitation, Tony plunges the syringe into his arm, the burning caused by the syringe undistinguishable by the burning of his mind. 

Tony passed out. 

When Tony Stark's eyes opened again, he felt nothing. He got up. He had things to do.


	2. Cold

Bucky Barnes was confused. He was approaching Tony when the genius finally rose from his deep trance in his workshop.

"Hey, Stark, do you -"

Tony's eyes were void. Bucky glimpsed Tony's very own Winter Soldier.

Emotionless.

Cold.

Empty.

Tony ignored him and walked out. Three hours later, the Avengers Assemble alarm rang, blaring out throughout the tower. Iron Man was nowhere to be found.

 

* * *

 

Emotions were similar to wildfire. 

Emotions burned down self control and rational thinking. 

Emotions turned even the most level headed into tragedy cases. 

Emotions were heart achingly familiar to one Anthony Edward Stark. 

Emotions - well - they got the best of him. Every. _Damn._ Time. 

 

Take Howard and Obie, for example. Tony just had to please, to make his father happy,  _one freaking time._ He built weapons. 

    What kind of fucked up eleven year old builds a handgun to get a smile from his father? 

 

And then, there was Rhodey, who didn't want anything.  _His_ affection was given freely. He wasn't paid to stick around, unlike everybody else. 

 

Pepper? Paid. 

Happy? Paid. 

Avengers?  _Paid._  

 

Granted, the Avengers were paid only in housing, cable, free tech, a loaded credit card, an AI to cater to all their....

Yeah. They were paid. 

  

Great. Now Tony could truthfully say every one of his relationships were fake. Splendid.

 

But when that dam broke, and his emotions escaped, Iron Man went hysterical. 

 

Grief, in some ways, is freeing. It is the feeling that there is nothing more, not on Earth. So, why not burn it all to the ground? 

 

Tony Stark created the plan and had the money. Iron Man had the suit.

The Merchant Of Death? Oh no, he had the ruthlessness. 

 

Tony Stark found who killed Rhodey. Iron Man flew in and planted the weapons. The Merchant of Death finally pushed the trigger. 


End file.
